Christmas in September

I just got back from the K-Mart on the north side of Racine. They have their Christmas decorations up. I spoke briefly with the man putting up the displays. He said he started assembling trees last week.

I believe this is the earliest I have ever seen a store start pushing Christmas. Why don't they just leave the decorations up all the time and pimp Christmas 365 days a year?

Are You Going to Party on the Pavement?

Tomorrow is the big event in Downtown Racine: Party on the Pavement.

http://www.partyonthepavement.com/

Are you going?


I don't plan on attending. I've gone in years past, but not in recent years. I don't like crowds and it gets more crowded every year. That's good for the event, but not for me. I also bump into people I don't particularly want to see.

I hope for good weather for Party on the Pavement and I hope that all those who attend have a great time.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a seemingly a quick week. Can't believe the end of September is here...Anyways here are some random questions...

1) How often do you keep updated in the news?

2) What's the one bad habit you would like to break?

3) What is the one subject you are the most passionate about?

4) Had you ever had a fish tank?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Friday arrives at a snail's pace.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my magnificent mums! How are you? Well this certainly appears to be one of the dreariest weeks we’ve had in a long time. Occasional spots of sunlight appear here and there, but mostly it is rain, rain, and, then, rain. Believe it or not, I still have some rather large green tomatoes on my plants just waiting for a few days of sunshine to ripen them up. What are the chances? Even a professional prognosticator like me won’t lay odds against Mother Nature. I’ll probably end up putting the tomatoes in paper bags on the closet floor in an effort to coax them to ripeness. Mother Nature can be a real “mother” sometimes.

Who is the mother of all teams in the NFL? The Green Bay Packers, of course! Our glorious gladiators slaughtered the Chicago Bears last Sunday. Next, the powerful Packers meet the Denver Broncos this coming Sunday, October 2, at 3:15 PM, in Lambeau Field. Ride those broncos till they drop, boys! I predict another Green Bay win, another step towards repeating our Super Bowl performance of last year. Hey, hey, Pack, break their backs! Oh my.

This weekend is also when the mother of all Racine festivals occurs: Party on the Pavement! Huzzah! Huzzah! Yahoo! Yahoo! It is this Saturday, October 1, noon to 7 PM, in Downtown Racine. I saw a large ad for POP in the weekend’s print version of the Journal Times, but nothing online yet. Here is DRC’s webpage on it: http://www.racinedowntown.com/party.html [Edited - I found this later: http://www.partyonthepavement.com/] As you will notice on the maps for the event when you see them, neither I nor Senor Zanza have booths in the event. [Edited - http://www.partyonthepavement.com/POP_2011_Map.jpg] Why? The usual prejudice against me and “my kind,” I suppose, or perhaps it is our association with the JT Irregulars. In any case, I hope that Party on the Pavement is a grand success this year. Remember the Ferris wheel accident last year? Oh my! We are so lucky to have the firefighters and emergency personnel that we do in Racine. Bless you all. I hope that Mother Nature cooperates and gives us a beautiful day to celebrate in Downtown Racine. As Mr. OrbsCorbs would say, “Party on!”

Below, my dears, is an example of what power the mind can hold over physical objects:



That was just three, young, untrained minds urging on a paper airplane. What would happen if, say, thousands of terrorists were trained to concentrate their minds on bringing down a commercial airliner? Oh dear! Has Homeland Security considered that scenario, or am I the only one protecting us from the mind control efforts of our enemies? Perhaps I should sell tinfoil hats at Party on the Pavement.

[Confidential to “Worn Out in Racine:” That’s what you get for robbing the cradle. Humph! I hope it turns black and blue.]

Thank you my dear, dear Irregulars and my dear, dear regulars. And thank you my dear, dear visitors, too. I love all of you. It is a joy to share my blog with you, and an honor. I hope that enjoy yourselves here and I hope that you will return next week.

Want to know where your “get up and go” got up and went to? Ask me: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Don’t forget your umbrellas, my dears. And your raincoats and galoshes. And, yes, that means the guys, too. Warm up over a bowl of soup or a cup of coffee or whatever gets your boiler stoked. This is good weather for sweaters. Obstrobogulous!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Halfway to the weekend!

My First Aurora Pics

Living in Arizona, I don't get to see the Aurora. It takes an exceptional solar storm to see the Northern Lights that far south.

Right now, I am at the Schoodic Education and Research Center at Acadia National Park in Maine. Northern Lights are more common up here. A reasonably strong solar storm hit yesterday and it was a wonderfully clear night. Right before I left on this trip, I got a new Sigma 10mm fisheye lens for my camera. That is a nice fast, wide angle lens that is perfect for capturing Aurora. So here is a sampling of the shots I got last night.

Looking forward to seeing what tonight might hold.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Oktoberfest and a Fun House

From YouTube: "This guy goes to Oktoberfest, parties, then hits up the funhouse. The next day, when people ask him why he looks so bad, this guy can tell them he spent the whole night tossing and turning."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKznt6SWsTc

Heck, back in the day, I would stagger home down the street like that after a night at the bar.

"Cheesehead maker has issue with billboard"

From the JSOnline.com:

"Firm threatens lawsuit over use of its hat on anti-cheese sign"

"By Meg Jones of the Journal Sentinel

Sept. 26, 2011 10:19 p.m. |

"It's one thing to bash cheese here in America's Dairyland, but quite another to use a beloved Cheesehead hat to cast aspersions on the food that's as much a part of Wisconsin as beer and bratwurst.

"A cheese war of sorts has broken out over a billboard scheduled to go up this week near Lambeau Field. The billboard features a Cheesehead-clad, scythe-carrying Grim Reaper cautioning about the health hazards of eating cheese.

"When the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine paid thousands of dollars to install the billboard on Highway 41 in De Pere, which many Packers fans will see on their way to Sunday's game, word got back to the St. Francis company that makes the famous cheddar apparel.

"The Cheesehead hat makers were steamed."

Read the rest of the story here: http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/130608538.html

How dare they attack cheeseheads in our home state? Now I have to find a cheesehead hat for my avatar. Grrr! You could just as well put a physician's lab coat on that Grim Reaper for all of the "mistakes" that doctors have buried.

Making a baby

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me.. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Washington Park Pool

Built as a WPA project in 1939, the Washington Park recreation center and swimming pool was a favorite summer activity for close to 30 years. The pool cost $150,000 to construct and was considered "state of the art." The only one of its kind in Wisconsin, it was built with the idea of providing a seashore atmosphere in the heart of the City. The pool was closed in 1968 and later removed. The recreation building was complete with a gym and showers. The pool's changing rooms were located in two open air areas with benches and changing stalls. The boys were located on the east side of the building and the girls on the west side. Street clothes were placed in a basket and each patron would get a rubberized ankle band with a medal tag with the basket number on it. There was also a concession window which sold goodies for the long walk home.

Back in the mid '50's I lived on Carroll St. A group of friends, we would go there every day. It cost 10 cent to get in. I would get a quarter from my mother, 10 cent to get in and when we left we would stop at the A&W Root Beer stand on 12th Street and spend the last 15 cent on a large ice cold root beer.

One day a week was a free day, we had a name for it, but I won’t say what we called it.

Around the “Island” the water was 10 ft deep. There was a fence around it and at the fence it was about 4 ft and tapered up to about 6 in deep. I was pretty disappointed when they closed it.

Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

In 1991, Nirvana released their second album, Nevermind. Tomorrow, on the 20th anniversary of its original release, the album is being re-released in a remastered version. You can read more here: http://www.jsonline.com/entertainment/musicandnightlife/130599683.html

Below is "Smells Like Teen Spirit" from that 1991 album.


 

Open Blog - Monday

Have a great week.

colonoscopies

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by some of his male patients while he was performing their colonoscopies:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

... and the best one of them all :

12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."

"Carlsberg stunts with bikers in cinema"

It really depends upon what I paid to see, but I don't think I would have stayed.

(You don't need the audio for this one, Huck.)

Two Things

Number one: Please check out our Disclaimer sometime. It's at the bottom of the page.

Number two: This link was submitted by a reader: https://www.torproject.org/
It's about the Tor Project: Anonymity Online.

Keep those cards and letters coming, folks. Thank you for reading the JT Irregulars. Don't forget to patronize our sponsor, the Miracle Widget Company. "If it works, it's a Miracle."™

"Are You Normal?"

"Being unique is important, but are your quirks pushing you too far outside what is considered normal? This fun personality quiz will give you the answer. Find out if you're in step with normal America, or if you're marching to the beat of your own drummer."

http://www.chatterbean.com/fun-quizzes/runormal/

Here are my results:

"Marvelous Maverick"

"Giddy-up partner. You're a maverick and don't know what the definition of normal is. That's a-okay because you're now part of a fascinating group of desperadoes. Wherever you ride, it's sure to be off the beaten path because it's way more fun to find the path least traveled."

"You . . . don't know what the definition of normal is." Spot on. I suspect, though, that "normal" is a disease which needs to be wiped out in my lifetime.
 

"Luxury Living... with a twist!"

Now that's the kind of home ownership I can relate to.

To see more of Gregory Kloehn's dumpster home and how to accessorize it, check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca2af6y1gSM

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back to another exciting episode of Four for Fridays-where there are no reruns! This week's questions are random...

1) Do you sing out loud to the radio in your car?

2) What do you like on your sandwich? (any kind of sandwich)

3) Do you prefer the heat or the cold?

4) Have you ever won a prize or a trophy?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Happy Friday!

Irregular Football League Standings - Week 2

Looks like the Orbliterators and the Packers are doing about the same.

I know it's early . . .

. . . but Charlie loves Halloween.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my zesty zinnias! How are you? It appears that summer may yet linger a little longer. I enjoy the mild days and cool nights. However, a glance at the calendar tells the tale: autumn is coming. That is a very beautiful time of year, too: the colorful leaves, the crispness in the air, the pumpkins and football games and long walks on short afternoons. We are blessed with all four seasons in Wisconsin, although some people, including myself, would label one of those a curse. Oh my. Well, I’m not going to even think about what comes after autumn. And don’t you dare say the “s” word!

Our intrepid and meritorious Green Bay Packers once again defeated their opponents, the North Carolina Panthers, this Sunday past. They are 2 and oh, my. Next, they face their hated and despised archrivals, the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field, this Sunday, September 25, at 3:15 PM. Grrr! I am tempted to put a curse on the Bears, but that would not be fair play. In any case, our glorious Green and Gold do not need anyone’s help. They will put the Bears into hibernation on their home turf. So predicts Madame Zoltar®©™!

Is it just me, or do the driving skills of the motoring public seem to decline with each year? I am almost afraid to drive or ride on the streets of Racine anymore. We have tolerated a lot, but things are getting out of hand. My auto insurance just jumped $73 annually. What is that about? I have made no claims and have had no tickets. I don’t even let Junior near my car. He’s 15 and all he talks about is when he gets his license. Ha! We’ll see. I’d be afraid to let him drive, period, let alone drive/dodge in Racine. And what do you think would happen to my insurance rate then? A young male with a probationary license – that ought to be worth about triple my current rate. Oh dear.

Remember last week’s video about the entertainment center falling over on the boy? Well, this week I present a similar, precautionary tale on the dangers of gambling. Instead of boys, it features an older man, who knocks something over. (There is no audio.)



Oh my. Although the gentleman in that video got the satisfaction of kicking in the machine’s face, I’ll bet you that his foot still hurts. Please don’t gamble, it’s not worth the risks.

[Confidential to the one who did not want to be named: Yes, you may sue for that. In fact, I encourage it. The more the merrier, my dear.]

Thank you beloved Irregulars and regulars for visiting my humble blog this week. I am so happy that you stopped by to read. It gives me great pleasure to give you pleasure. I look forward to our visit every week.

To know tomorrow today, don’t wait until yesterday: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy my lovelies. It’s time for fall harvest fests and apple cider. Watch out for the hard stuff. I drank a little too much of that one year and accidentally astral projected myself into a neighbor’s bedroom. That was very embarrassing. I love you all. Have a wonderful week. Gelogenic!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Have a bright and beautiful day.

Anybody got a spare chainsaw?

Neighbor had a tree lining our yards cut down today. The one guy says to me don't worry, we'll clean up any branches, leaves etc that fall in your yard.
I said cool!
Hey, I'll take the wood! LOL!! He says that would be great, then we don't have to stop to dump it before our next job... where do you want it?
This is what they left me.. LMAO!!!



You can see the stump to the right of the fence.

Zahns - Racine, Wisconsin

Zahns - for those of you that shopped there........a walk down memory lane.

Life worth living

At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was crushed to death.

A Short Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own fucking blanket.'


After a moment of silence, .....................he farted.

The End

Internatioal Talk Like a Pirate Day

Talk like a pirate ye scurvy dogs or I will make ye walk the plank!

The Fate of the Oasis

Tomorrow night, Tuesday, Sept. 20, Racine's City Council is supposed to decide who gets to manage the Oasis on North Beach for the next five years. The Public Safety and Licensing Committee has recommended that the concession be taken away from Mr. Paul Curtin, the man who turned the Oasis from a gang and drug infested hangout into a destination spot on North Beach. Please contact your alderman and tell him or her how you feel about this matter. Or better yet, show up at the meeting and tell them yourself. 7 PM, Room 205, City Hall.

It's fast and easy to send your alderman an email. If you don't know who your alderman is, you can find out here: http://www.cityofracine.org/City/Departments/Clerk/Poll.aspx?id=196

My previous blog on the subject: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/09/city-committee-recommends-different.html

The JournalTimes.com's last story on the subject: http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_21b59afe-dec4-11e0-a734-001cc4c002e0.html

Open Blog - Monday

Boo!

"Nudity Probable"

That came from a group that calls themselves "The Irregulars": http://www.youtube.com/user/IrregularsVideos

There's also http://www.irregularfilms.com/, which features "the work of Marco Sandeman."
 

Someone asked about near death experiences at another Site.

Here is the one I shared.

I have too many of these stories. Why am I alive? No idea. One among many.

I was getting ready to go to work. My state is a helmet choice state for motorcyclists. I rarely wore one but this morning I had a premonition that said wear it. Okay, so I toss my helmet, leather jacket, and gloves on and go out to fire up the bike. The rural highway to the next town where I worked, was about ten miles of crank it up and blast down the road emptiness.

I was in my little burg on the way out of town. In front of me there was a Rambler American belching smoke, and in front of him a AMC Ambassador. (The AMC plant was in the next county over) The Ambassador took off at the city limit leaving me behind the smoke belchor. There were a few cars coming my way, and when they passed I cracked the throttle hard and passed the old Rambler. I had it up over 80mph and was thinking the next small hill will slow me down without needing to hit the brakes. That's when I saw the Ambassador in front of me about a block distance away. It seemed to be going much slower than it had been.

With the morning sun in my eyes, my vision was reduced so I tilted my head down for some shade and that's when I saw the left turn signal. To the right was a deep ditch with large chunks of jagged lime stone, a telephone pole about ten feet out, and some of those highway posts that are painted black and white. I couldn't take the path to the right as there was no path to take. I hit the brakes hard.

My rear tire started breaking loose and the front brake was near locked. I was headed for a full impact center punch of the Ambo's rear end and was still doing over 60mph. I tend to react faster than many. As the rear end came sideways a little more, I banged down two gears in desperation and grabbed a fist full throttle. Doing an imitation of Jay Sprinsteen, I did a feet up flat track corner attempt. I almost made it. Time ran out.

My bike hit the left rear of the Ambo and pushed the bumper and rear corner in two feet. The impact happened right behind my leg. I missed getting my leg crushed by inches. As I flew over the bike, and somersaulted, I broke the last knuckle on my right hand's ring finger. Except for literally shitting my pants as I impacted the ground and hoped there was no on coming traffic, that was the extent of my injuries. I must have been green from my full pants as the Officer on the scene didn't write me a ticket although he could have.

That's just one of many near death stories. I earned the handle "Mr. Wild" <-- (I'm Huck Finn here) for a reason. Buy me a beer sometime and I'll tell you another. I used to race, drive with a lead foot, and skydive. Yes, I'm lucky to be here, but what a rich life filled with memories.

Brew Fest Drowns Home Expo

Great Lakes Brew Fest, which the city kicked out of Festival Hall so that the Journal Times could hold their Home Expo there, was held at the Racine Zoo yesterday and today.

I drove past Brew Fest today on my way to and from mom's. I have never seen so many people converge on the Zoo. N. Main Street was almost impassable at points. Cars and buses were parked everywhere. Lines of people snaked down N. Main and Goold Streets, waiting to get in. There had to be thousands. I snapped some quick pics as I drove past:

Meanwhile, this was the scene at Home Expo:

Congratulations to Dickert and the Journal Times for once again ignoring the will of the people of the City of Racine, Wisconsin.
 

THIS MORNING...

This morning I waded across a raging river, escaped from a bear in the woods, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand.

My friend said, you must be some outdoors man!

No, I replied, I'm just a shitty golfer.

Don't mess with old people

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check-out counter.

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like shit."

The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."

So........... Don't mess with old people.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Welcome back to another amazing episode of Four for Fridays after another short week. Here are some short and random questions...

1) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

2) Do you remember your dreams?

3) What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

4) What are your best physical features?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Enjoy!

"WWII veterans brave one more flight in B-17 bomber"

"By Meg Jones of the Journal Sentinel

Sept. 15, 2011 10:53 p.m. |

"Kenosha - No one tried to kill Scott Welch on Thursday afternoon - no German Messerschmitts dived toward him with guns blazing, no anti-aircraft guns shot deadly flak his way, and there were no bombs to drop over enemy targets.

"Otherwise, it looked much the same as the Flying Fortresses Welch piloted over Europe.
Welch flew 32 combat missions in B-17 bombers in 1944 in the skies over France and Germany, including the D-Day invasion. He earned a Purple Heart when shrapnel tore into his plane, through his seat and into his backside, and a Distinguished Flying Cross for piloting his plane and crew back to safety while wounded.

"Until Thursday he had not flown in a Flying Fortress since he was a skinny 21-year-old kid. So he jumped at the chance to fly in a B-17 restored in the markings of the 398th Bomb Group.

"'It's very heavy on the controls. When you wanted to roll the wings, it took quite a bit of force,' Welch said before Thursday's flight at Kenosha Regional Airport. 'I weighed 135 pounds, and my shoulders looked like a wrestler.'

"Welch, 88, of Silver Lake, climbed into the EAA-owned B-17 Flying Fortress dubbed 'Aluminum Overcast' along with a few other World War II B-17 veterans for a quick flight over Lake Michigan. Also on the trip was Carl Nielsen, 89, of Racine, a B-17 navigator who was shot down over Wurzberg, Germany, on his 31st mission and was a prisoner of war for nine months.

"Asked if he was anxious to fly in the B-17 again, considering his last trip ended in a bailout over Nazi Germany, Nielsen smiled.

"'I got 800 hours already. Why should I be nervous about another 15 minutes?' said Nielsen, who proudly wore his red, white and blue Distinguished Flying Cross pin on his jacket."

Read more, including pictures and video: http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/129926883.html

"Social Security Reform Bill Encourages Americans To Live Faster, Die Younger"

* LANGUAGE ADVISORY *

From The Onion:


Finally, a Social Security reform bill that makes sense.
 

"City committee recommends different management for Oasis"

Read the story here: http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_21b59afe-dec4-11e0-a734-001cc4c002e0.html

I remember the Oasis before it was the Oasis, when it was a beat down rat hole infested by druggies and gangbangers looking for trouble. It had been that way for years. Then Mr. Curtin had an idea. He proposed to the city that he open a business there and once again make it a safe place for people to patronize. They agreed and he started in. He had to fight off some of the scum who thought it was still their private piss hole. He worked and worked against the troublemakers, and he worked and worked to build his business. Soon, the Oasis became an integral part of North Beach's rebirth. Today, it is a smashing success.

So, of course, the city wants to mess with that. After one person's five year effort to build a flourishing business, the city intends to take it away from Mr. Curtin, because they want 5% more of the profits that they never earned in the first place. By "city" here, I, of course, refer to the high and mighty muckity-mucks in our local government who have never operated a successful business, but tell everyone else how to run theirs.

I know that the real city, the people of the city of Racine, Wisconsin, are better than that. We would never reward success by taking away someone's way of making a living. We would not demand 5% more of the profits unless we delivered 5% more in services. We are honest, forthright people. We don't treat others like that.

Of course, "we" are not the "city." The "city" is a force made of the select few who do as they wish with little regard to what we believe or think. I'd just like to apologize to Mr. Curtin on behalf of the people of the city of Racine, the real people who live and work here, and who patronized your Oasis. I am ashamed of our "leaders," sir, and I apologize for their greed. (GS Avarice LLC - look it up in your Funk & Wagnall's - they're spitting it right in our faces.) They do not represent us, only their own interests. Best wishes to you, sir, in all of your future endeavors.

Famous quotes

he knows nothing.. .he thinks he knows everything.. that clearly points to a political career.. george bernard shaw

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my prized petunias! How are you? As we approach mid-September, we’re still getting a lot of warm days, but you can tell that Mother Nature’s heart isn’t in it. Most of the evenings are cool, and more and more trees are starting to turn color and/or drop leaves. The bracing air of autumn will be upon us soon. Enjoy the show.

Don't forget that this Friday and Saturday, Sept. 16 & 17, Great Lakes Brew Fest takes place at the Racine Zoo: http://www.greatlakesbrewfest.com/main.html Also this weekend, Fall Harvest Days take place at the Racine County Fairgrounds: http://www.fallharvestdays.com/fhds.html

Of course our exalted Green Bay Packers reigned triumphant over the New Orleans Saints last week. It was a very thrilling, back and forth game, but there was never any doubt in my mind as to the outcome. Madame Zoltar sees all. This coming Sunday our distinguished and most honorable Packers meet the Carolina Panthers. (Excuse me, but are they really a team? Really? Gee, I don’t remember them…) Our titans from Green Bay will declaw and defang the Panthers promptly. They will make nice house pets. Meow.

Speaking of being catty, have you heard the latest news out of Hollywood? Good, me neither. Meow, meow.

Honestly, the news from everywhere seems depressing. I suggest a case of my Blues-B-Gon elixir and a funny movie or videos, like the short clip below, which should serve as a warning to all amateurs trying to perform magic tricks without the proper training:



Oh my. I hope that young man was OK. Now remember, there are good reasons why you shouldn’t try magic unsupervised at home. Knocking over an entertainment center onto your little brother is hardly the worst thing that could happen. What if you unintentionally opened a portal into another dimension, or accidentally turned a family member into a frog? Then what? If you want me to undo the damage, it’s going to cost you, and big. It’s much better not to dabble in the dark arts in the first place. If you’re interested in such things, hire a guide or a teacher, like me. My rates are very reasonable and are on a sliding scale for those on a limited income. You can contact me anytime at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog today, my lovely Irregulars and regulars. It’s wonderful of you to take time from your busy day for me. Thank you, again. I’d like to say that "we are strangers but once,” but the fact is that with the Irregulars, things get stranger all of the time.

[Confidential to Ms. Why Not?: Relax, you and the girls will have a smooth trip home.]

Enjoy the bucolic days of mid-September. Summer lays recent and warm in memory, winter is still but a dream. It’s a lovely time of year. Go, Pack, go! Repristinate!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Try to look on the sunny side of life.

tonight’s one of those nights I almost start believing in love again

tonight’s one of those nights I almost start believing in love again
something in the air
something this afternoon leaning on a receptionist’s counter
the west sun warming the room
she was so pleasant I was hypnotized
I felt great for hours
still do
I sense spring in autumn
something stirring in September
a shift, perhaps
a sudden spill towards hope in fall’s fading light

--OrbsCorbs, September 13, 2011

"Love Tap"

That's an uplifting short film.

Rain and Lightning on Kitt Peak

I was up at Kitt Peak Friday night with our Project Astro teachers and the weather wasn't totally cooperative. However, I grabbed my camera to get some shots.

My first shot is from the visitor's gallery of the Mayall Four Meter Telescope. The Sun is getting low in the sky and filtering through the clouds. Okay, I took this shot just because it reminded me of the appearance of God in Monty Python's The Holy Grail. For the record, God did not appear in the clouds and give us a quest that evening.

Rain moved in and we had a nice thunderstorm. The storms moved out and I went outside and tried for some lightning shots. The storms were generally farther away when I took these and the nearly full Moon was breaking through the clouds helping light up the landscape. That is the McMath-Pierce Solar Telescope in these shots. The storm was far enough away I wasn't worried about being struck!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Open Blog - Monday

Be fruitful and multiply.

Open Blog - 9/11/2011

We remember.

Late Night Police Scanner

I haven't listened to the police scanner much lately. I dunno. I think the volume changes and radio squelching irritate me. Anyway, I was listening last night (this morning) between 1 and 2 AM. Wow, the police were kept very busy. If I think of it later on, I may listen again tonight. Saturday night should be even worse than Friday. Sometimes it's good to get a reminder of what is happening out there.

The JT Irregulars has a link to an online police scanner on the sidebar, as does Racine Uncovered, http://racineuncovered.org/ Or, you can just click here: http://www.radioreference.com/apps/audio/?action=wp&feedId=373

Racine Uncovered also has a story up on donating to the Racine Police Department for another K9 unit: http://racineuncovered.org/2011/09/the-racine-police-dept-raising-money-for-an-additional-k9-unit/
 

La Figlia Che Piange

O quam te memorem virgo

Stand on the highest pavement of the stair—
Lean on a garden urn—
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair—
Clasp your flowers to you with a pained surprise—
Fling them to the ground and turn
With a fugitive resentment in your eyes:
But weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.

So I would have had him leave,
So I would have had her stand and grieve,
So he would have left
As the soul leaves the body torn and bruised,
As the mind deserts the body it has used.
I should find
Some way incomparably light and deft,
Some way we both should understand,
Simple and faithless as a smile and shake of the hand.

She turned away, but with the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many days,
Many days and many hours:
Her hair over her arms and her arms full of flowers.
And I wonder how they should have been together!
I should have lost a gesture and a pose.
Sometimes these cogitations still amaze
The troubled midnight and the noon's repose.

--T. S. Eliot

"Thomas Stearns 'T. S.' Eliot OM (September 26, 1888 – January 4, 1965) was a playwright, literary critic, and arguably the most important English-language poet of the 20th century.^[3] Although he was born an American he moved to the United Kingdom in 1914 (at age 25) and was naturalised as a British subject in 1927 at age 39.

"The poem that made his name, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock—started in 1910 and published in Chicago in 1915—is regarded as a masterpiece of the modernist movement. He followed this with what have become some of the best-known poems in the English language, including Gerontion (1920), The Waste Land (1922), The Hollow Men (1925), Ash Wednesday (1930), and Four Quartets (1945).^[4] He is also known for his seven plays, particularly Murder in the Cathedral (1935). He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1948.^[5]"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._S._Eliot

To hear T. S. Eliot read this poem, click here: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15305

The Beatles - "And I Love Her"

distraught senior citizen

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then,Just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'!

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a seemingly short week. It least mine felt like that. Here are some random questions for ya!

1) How well do you follow football?

2) When was the last time you have been to the dentist?

3) How many keys on your key ring?

4) What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

There's something about that group that I can relate to.

"Racine Post Office to use pictorial cancellation to honor 9-11 heroes, firefighters"

From FOX6NOW.com:

"12:30 p.m. CDT, September 8, 2011

WITI-TV, RACINE —

"The Racine Post Office will honor the Racine Fire Department and the memory of 911 by issuing a unique pictorial cancellation on the ten-year anniversary of 9-11.

"The special pictue postmark would normally be available in the West Racine Post Office (1300 Perry Avenue) on the day of the event. However 9-11 falls on a Sunday this year and the West Racine Post Office will not be open. Consequently, Saturday, September 10th has been selected as the date the cancellation will be available."

Read more: http://www.fox6now.com/news/witi-20110908-9-11-postage-cancellation,0,6072031.story

LAW OF THE WILD

The Law Of The Wild says kill only when you are hungry

Photographer Michel Denis-Huot, who captured these amazing pictures on safari in Kenya 's Masai Mara in October last year, said he was astounded by what he saw:

"These three brothers (cheetahs) have been living together since they left their mother at about 18 months old," he said.

"On the morning we saw them, they seemed not to be hungry, walking quickly but stopping sometimes to play together. At one point, they met a group of impala who ran away. But one youngster was not quick enough and the brothers caught it easily."

These extraordinary scenes followed.