Open Blog - Thursday


What a great way to start the day.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

"Busted, so to speak: 'Donald Trump' ecstasy tablets seized in Germany"


HONS

"German police say they have seized thousands of tablets of the party drug ecstasy in the shape of Donald Trump’s head, a haul with an estimated street value of $45,900.
"Police in Osnabrueck, in northwestern Germany, say they found the drugs while checking an Austrian-registered car on the A30 highway on Saturday.
"They say the people in the car, a 51-year-old man and his 17-year-old son, told officers they had been in the Netherlands to buy a vehicle but hadn’t succeeded so were returning home.
"Officers said they found about 5,000 of the orange, Trump-shaped ecstasy tablets along with a large, but unspecified quantity of cash.
"A judge on Sunday ordered the father and son kept in custody. The car was seized and towed away."

I've Switched to Chrome

Ever since I went to Windows 7, Firefox has been crashing a dozen or more times per day.  When it does crash, it usually offers you the opportunity to comment.  You can imagine what I wrote.  After awhile, I didn't get the option to add my 2 cents.

This morning it's crashed about 6 times already.  Fuck Firefox.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Calling all curs.  He-he.  Welcome to my blog.  I'm here to entertain and piss people off.  I often do the latter without even trying, or knowing.  Then again, the people of Racine have been screwed over by their "leaders" so many times with0out realizing it that I'm in "good" company.  The weather has been good lately, too.  It's cooling down a little as we aim for fall.  I've even seen some trees dropping leaves, and they weren't ashes.

Speaking of ash trees, it's a shame what the emerald ash borer has done.  It's decimated the east and moves steadily westward.  They are here.  We have tons of ash trees in Racine.  if they're not treated, they will die.  This reminds me of Dutch Elm Disuse from my childhood.  I lived on an elm tree lined street.  It was beautiful.  The elms vase-like shape made for a wonderful "tunnel effect."  Then Dutch Elm Disease struck and boom, my street was denuded.  That's the risk of monoculture (planting only one species of plant).  If something comes along, like the emerald ash borer, everything gets wiped out.  It's much smarter to plant a wide variety of trees so that the disappearance of one species isn't as devastating.  It's a lesson hard won and I would have hoped that the city Forestry Department would learn from the Dutch Elm disaster.  Apparently not.  Now watch the trees disappear.  It's ghastly.

Foxconn is making fools of us all.  As soon as they get some money, they'll be gone, on to the next community to fleece.  They talk about starting out with 3,000 employees.  I wonder where they'll get them from?  Many of our unemployed can't even read.  Many don't want o work, instead sucking on the pipe all day.  If it happens, I think we'll see a great influx of commuters from Milwaukee and maybe even Chicago.  If Foxconn stays, eventually there will be housing built near the plant.  Meanwhile, our students are illiterate.  The only job they're suited for is making babies and milking the system,  Too bad the ghetto doesn't recognize a good work ethic as a plus.  However, let me make one thing clear: I don't believe Foxconn will build a plant in Racine County, even if we do give them $3 billion.  Uh, that's quite a large incentive.  I know people who would kill for less.

I think our fantasy football draft was this past weekend.  Now I need to set up my team, which will roll over all opposition, especially the Mighty Bears, who I'll roll over two or three times.  I visited OrbsCorbs and his building manager was putting up football decorations.  She was using a yellow (gold) backing in all of the frames in the lobby and then she put paper footballs in them.  I told her she was missing the green for the Packers' green and gold.   She looked at my severely and said, "I don't dare.  We have some Chicago Bears fans here and they would rip those decorations right off of the walls."  I guess Bears fans are naturally nasty;; right, Ms. Tender Heart Bear?  Packer fans just want to eat brats and drink beer.  Bears fans should be run through a metal detector before they're allowed into the stadium.

Did you know that we have a fellow advice columnist in the Shepherd Express?  Her name is Ruthie:  http://shepherdexpress.com/article-30293-labor-%2528day%2529-pains.htm  She's so much more active in the community than I am.  I guess I'll just eat another Whopper with large fries and a Coke.

That's it, my friends and lovers.  Time to stop this and get on with the rest of the day.  I'm so glad you've taken the time to read my blog.  I hope you enjoy it.  The only thing I like more than readers is satisfied readers.

madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the three day weekend that is approaching.  Be careful of the traffic and crowds.  I want all of my Irregulars to have a great time.  If you have young ones, keep a sharp eye on them.  Child molesters grow bolder by the day.  I love you all!
 __________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday


There's your sunrise over Racine today.  When I first saw it, the sun was bright red.  Unfortunately, my camera was in my truck downstairs.  By the time I had retrieved it, the sun was yellow again.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

"On Many Sides"

From the Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 16 hours ago


 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’ve received a couple, three gung-ho thumbs-ups for the bigger type and the briefer length of last week’s essay, which was a necessity due to the troubled eyes I got saddled with from taking a gander at that goddamn eclipse, what the fock.
So what say we go two-for-two in the type-and-length department this week, ’cause this really ought to be my gala back-to-school address to young and old alike. Yes, my yearly paean to this rite of passage—or flunkage, such as it is for the kid who’s got to go through last year’s grade again—offered to prepare the community for the rejoicing that shall come the day after Labor Day when our young Einsteins get their loins girded for another nine-month sentence of class learning required to fertilize our society’s fervent prayer that our god-fearing nation remain Top-Dog-of-the-Planet for the foreseeable future, a really great future. Or something like that.
Yeah yeah, it ought to be my gala back-to-school address EXCEPT I’m apparently too late for that kind of essay, so the only thing I’m left to say is this:
“August 14? MPS? You got to be jerking my beefaroni. They started school on August focking 14 already? Back-to-school, shback-to-school. Did they ever leave? Jesus H. Christ, how much math you’ll never use does a kid need? Sorry, you kids. And you’re right. You’re getting screwed. If I’m shocked to learn that school fires up way before Labor Day, I can imagine how you must be feeling—your idyllic idyll of shoplifting and burning bugs with a magnifying glass circumcised in its prime, it is to weep, what the fock.
“Cripes, sure seems to me like some nitwit bid out the school system to the Japanese to run, which means that since you’re starting on Aug. 14, next year you’ll probably get out after a half-day on Aug. 13. Hey, maybe that afternoon you and the family can squeeze in that trip to the Grand focking Canyon you’ve always talked about before school commences bright and early the next morning, ain’a?”
And so I would like to write the following:
School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, brutal violations of common sense and common decency.
Too bad it’s already been written, an age ago by this guy named Mencken, newspaperman, editor, critic out of Baltimore. And you betcha, he’s also the guy who wrote: Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. Amen and praise the lord, ’cause I’m, Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-30306-on-many-sides.html

Monday, August 28, 2017

Sunday, August 27, 2017

"Business or Exploitation? | Mental Health | :30 Report w/ Logic"



I was part of the problem once. In my early sobriety, I used to donate cartons of cigarettes to the wacko ward.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Open Blog - Weekend


We have to get through September before I'll start thinking about sweaters.

Friday, August 25, 2017

Four for Fridays1

Hello everyone I hope you enjoyed the week. The change in the weather is so crazy lately but I am enjoying having my windows open for a change. Here are your questions.

1) Do you watch and food shows?

2) If you do watch food shows which ones?

3) Who is your favorite food show chef?

4) If the food show you watch came close by you would you try out for the show?

Hope you enjoy the weekend

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hi, gang!  How are you doing?  Isn't this great weather?  Soon enough the leaes will drop and then the snow covers everything.  So get out now while you can.  If you can.  I understand that the priorities of life often take first place.  But somewhere in there, there has to be some time for yourself.  And I'm not talking just sleeping.  Science has come to appreciate the those quiet times that help rejuvenate you.  Learn to meditate.  Play catch with the dog.  Take up jogging.  We need to care for ourselves so that we'll be there when others need help.

Mr. OrbsCorbs is "permanently fucked" (his language) because he's lost a part for his truck.  He lost it downstairs in the parking garage.  So how far could've it gone?  Yet three days of looking for it have been fruitless.  The vehicle won't run without it and no one is making the part anymore for a 20 year old vehicle.  I've tried to help him primarily by helping him calm down.  He gets so very upset at whet he sees as the inequalities of life.  I'll pimp his cause here: MISSING: ribbon cable that connects the instrument cluster to the dashboard.  It's only about 6 inches long.  1996 GMC Sonoma (S-10) V-6 automatic  Mr. OrbsCorbs spoke yesterday with the dealership about the part.  They made 6 different set-ups for his truck that year and none of them are in production..  The only way to tell if a vehicle has the matching part is to compare them.  Taking them out properly takes about two hours.  Going at it with a crowbar should reduce times to 30 minutes.  I don't know what else to tell Mr. OrbsCorbs.  He gets so upset when something is wrong with the truck.

It looks like Foxconn is going to play this game until the moment that they are granted some money.  I'm going to do that, too.  My corporation name will be Zoltarconn.  I'll promise 8 billion jobs within a week.  Just give me the "seed" money.  The Japanese won the war.  Ha-ha, what a circus to watch.  No one knows what to do because Foxconn isn't telling us anything.  They're playing us for fools.  They're probably right.

Another drowning in Racine County.  Just 4 years old.  His parents took their eyes off of him "for a second."  That's how long it takes young kids to find trouble.  If you're going to leave your child alone near a body of water, make sure he/she is wearing a life jacket.  Better yet, never leave them alone near water until they learn how to swim.  When I grew up, everyone learned how to swim.  Today, it appears to be a lost art.  How many more children will die before the families, city, county, or schools do something about it?  We might even have some future Olympians.  With all the water around us, it just makes sense to learn to swim.

The city has hired an outside firm to throw our Machinery Row dollars at:

"RACINE — In response to a June determination from the Wisconsin Department of Administration, the city will hire an Elm Grove firm to address relocation concerns regarding former owners and tenants of the Machinery Row properties.

"Before the city’s Finance and Personnel Committee Monday night, Deputy City Attorney Nicole Larsen discussed the city’s choice of Terra Venture Advisors to evaluate and handle claims for relocation assistance first filed by former 615 Marquette St. tenant Patrick Fagan. Larsen said Monday that no claims have been filed directly with the city as of yet.

"Larsen told the committee that while the city doesn’t have a firm estimate on costs for Terra Venture’s work, the price tag could exceed $150,000.

"'We’re going to say it’s about $150,000 for their fees to do the investigation and to find out what owners and tenants were there,' Larsen said. '(They’ll) work with those tenants to gather business information and establish those claims, and then file a relocation plan with the State of Wisconsin Department of Administration.'"

Read more:  http://journaltimes.com/news/local/city-picks-elm-grove-firm-for-machinery-row-relocation-analysis/article_75aa926e-b0c6-546c-8bb5-7598dec26843.html

Die, Machinery Row, die!

Live, JT Irregulars, live!

Thanks for reading my blog this week.  I love you all.  Be nice to each other.  It doesn't hurt.

madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Send good vibes to Mr. OrbsCorbs for fixing his truck.  He tried to save a few dollars.  Now he may be bleeding from the nose.  How far can a 6 inch, T-ended ribbon cable jump?  Maybe he had a zombie one and it needed to get out to bite others.

Die, ribbon cable, die!
 __________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

WiGWag: News with a twist

From the Wisconsin Gazette:

Public proposal A sailor on the USS New Mexico proposed to his boyfriend in front of about 200 people who were gathered at the submarine base to welcome the boat home from its first deployment. Dylan Kirchner told the Day of New London that he didn’t care that everybody was watching when Machinist’s Mate Jerrel Revels dropped to one knee and popped the question.  Guns welcome at starbucks Pro-gun advocates gathered in Starbucks’ stores in August to show their appreciation for the company’s decision to allow weapons inside its locations in states where it’s legal. “Starbucks Appreciation Day” events occurred nationwide, including in Newton, Conn. “Our stores are gathering places for the communities we serve and we respect the diverse views of our customers,” said Zack Hutson. But Starbucks bans free-distribution publications, including this one, from its corporate-owned stores.




Kristina Young

Public proposal
A sailor on the USS New Mexico proposed to his boyfriend in front of about 200 people who were gathered at the submarine base to welcome the boat home from its first deployment. Dylan Kirchner told the Day of New London that he didn’t care that everybody was watching when Machinist’s Mate Jerrel Revels dropped to one knee and popped the question.
Guns welcome at starbucks
Pro-gun advocates gathered in Starbucks’ stores in August to show their appreciation for the company’s decision to allow weapons inside its locations in states where it’s legal. “Starbucks Appreciation Day” events occurred nationwide, including in Newton, Conn. “Our stores are gathering places for the communities we serve and we respect the diverse views of our customers,” said Zack Hutson. But Starbucks bans free-distribution publications, including this one, from its corporate-owned stores.
Love in the air
New Zealanders Lynley Bendall and Ally Wanikau walked down the aisle of an airplane to exchange vows, becoming one of their nation’s first couple’s to get hitched following the enactment of a new law on Aug. 19. The seatbelt-fasten signs were off. The two have been together 13 years and have  three foster children. Along for the ride was “Modern Family” star Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
Oyez, oyez: An opera
Composer Derrick Wang looked to the U.S. capital to inspire his latest work, an opera about two people who’ve forged a friendship despite being adversaries at work – Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia, the tenor, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the soprano. Both justices share a love for opera, and they previewed ”Scalia/Ginsburg,” a work in progress, the day after the Court released its rulings on Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act.
Out in the ring
Darren Young became the first WWE pro wrestler to publicly come out as gay. When TMZ asked if he thought a gay wrestler could be successful in WWE, he said, “Absolutely. Look at me. I’m a WWE Superstar and, to be honest with you, right now, I’ll tell you I’m gay and I’m happy. Very happy.” WWE issued a statement supporting Young’s decision to come out.
How hot?
It’s been so hot in China this month that people are frying bacon on manhole covers, eggs are hatching without incubators and a highway billboard caught fire. The heat wave has been the worst in more than a century, with temps reaching 104 degrees and forcing authorities to issue the emergency declaration usually reserved for typhoons.
Travel plans
Fleeing homosexuality and abortion in the United States, a Christian family got lost at sea. Hannah Gastonguay and her family set sail from San Diego for the tiny south Pacific island nation of Kiribati in May. The family, including an infant, hit storms that left them adrift for weeks until they were rescued. Apparently they didn’t realize Kiribati is disappearing under rising ocean levels due to global warming. Leaders are seeking to move its population.
Dangerous territory
New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner aka Carlos Danger called an opponent “grandpa” at a candidates’ forum sponsored by AARP. The 48-year-old Weiner got into it with 69-year-old George McDonald. Weiner said McDonald had “anger” issues. When McDonald angrily replied that he did not, Weiner said, “Yes, you do, Grandpa.” AARP called the remark “unfortunate.”
Lard lump
A London utility company in early August reported finding a 15-ton blob of congealed fat and baby wipes in a sewer drain. The “fatberg” built up over about six months, according to Thames Water. The blockage was discovered after residents were unable to flush their toilets.
Minor mistake
A Minor League Baseball team affiliated with the Minnesota Twins admits staging a rejection of a marriage proposal as a publicity stunt. Between innings at a Rock Cats game in New Britain, Conn., a man and a woman were on the field for a trivia contest. On the third question, fans heard the man propose and then heard the woman say, “I’m sorry, I can’t, I’m sorry,” before she fled the field.
Russia? no way!
Out celebrity Andy Cohen has resigned as co-host of the 2013 Miss Universe competition, scheduled for Nov. 9 in Moscow. Cohen hosted the 2011 and 2012 pageants and was booked to return this year. But he said that he fears for his safety in Russia, which has criminalized gay behavior as well as public support for gay rights.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

"Lunartic"

From the Shepherd Express:

2 minutes ago
 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So I hear another solar eclipse has come and gone. And I’ll tell you’s, a couple-three minute sun and moon shadow dance is no big focking deal to me, hell no, not to a guy who’s been in eclipse for years, I kid you not.

Yeah yeah, I saw the photo of our President Orange Circus Peanut staring up at the eclipse (retina-schmetina, those astronomer scientists think they know everything, fock ’em); thus completing the trifecta. And by that I mean he’s always had “dumb” nailed, you bet. He’s got “deaf” in his hip pocket, since he can’t and won’t listen to anyone or anything but his own meshugah inner demons. And now he’s going for “blind.” What a guy. What the fock.

And speaking of blind, what’s with the big focking type you ask? It’s so I can read what I’m whipping out on this page here. Apparently, I, too, may have gazed, sans safety glasses, at the goddamn eclipse a smidge longer than recommended and now my eyesight seems to have gone all ferkakta on me, for crying out loud. Cripes, I knew I probably should’ve slaughtered and sacrificed a goat before the eclipse like I had planned. If I had, maybe I’d be just peachy now instead of wondering if I should ask for a tin cup and cane for Christmas this year, what the fock.

Anyways, since I’m already feeling half blind, I may as well go all the way and head up to the Uptowner tavern/charm school where I shall sacrifice a Jackson or two at Old Crow’s altar. Come along if you’d like, but you buy the first round ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
 

Open Blog - Tuesday


Happy, yappy Tuesday.  Let's "Get 'er done!"

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Saturday, August 19, 2017

"The 60 Yard Line OFFICIAL TRAILER"



"The wait for 'The 60 Yard Line' is over.

"The Packers-themed movie, filmed in Ashwaubenon and Green Bay, will take a victory lap in theaters beginning Sept. 7. 

"'The 60' will open in more than 21 Marcus Theatres multiplexes, including Bay Park Cinema in Ashwaubenon and Green Bay East Cinema. Additional theaters will be announced.

"As promised by filmmaker Ryan Churchill, Green Bay will get its own premiere. Bay Park and Green Bay East will each host special screenings on Sept. 6 that will include a tailgate with beer, brats and Bloody Marys 90 minutes prior to the screening, and a 30-minute Q&A with cast and crew afterward."

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone I hope you have enjoyed your week. We have enjoyed having the Grandkids here spending time with them this summer. Here are your questions.

1) Have you ever seen a solar eclipse before?

2) Are you planning on seeing the solar eclipse on Monday?

3) If you are going to see the solar eclipse do you have the right glasses?

4) If you go to see the solar eclipse are you planning on taking pictures?

Have a great day!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my tater tots.  How are you?  Have you been enjoying the cool weather we've been getting?  I've actually had to sleep under a sheet the last two nights.  Senor Zanza is no help.  He just snores away, oblivious to everything.

Our Green Bay Packers meet the Washington Redskins in a preseason game this Saturday at 6:30 pm at FedEx Field.  Unless you're privy to the coach's thoughts, preseason games can easily give you the wrong impression.  A coach might try out his secondary.  He might authorize Hail Mary passes.  You never know what to expect in a preseason game.

Looks like we don't know what to expect from our Common Council, either.  Dickert is barely gone, and already they're spending like drunk sailors.  The latest thing is a retreat for Council Members to the tune of over $8,000.  A retreat.  From Racine, in Racine.  Sheesh.

How about a retreat for every single citizen in Racine?  We all need to get to know each other and get those warm fuzzies inside.  It would probably cost a few million, but all we have to is take down some more streetlights. Dickert has shown us the way.  Let's use that knowledge to rip ourselves off while it's still fresh in our minds.  Aldermen should be able to come up with all sorts of ways to foolishly spend money.  I still like the idea of rubber sidewalks and think all of the downtown area should be paved with them.  That way, when a drunk, er, I mean, patron of the arts falls, the fall will be cushioned by the rubbery sidewalk.

And do we really need enough lights for a landing strip on State St. near downtown?  They illuminate all of the nothing that we have.  They are bright, I'll give you that, but you should've seen the way cousin Romero lit up when he stuck his hand in the light socket.  Maybe we can get a couple hundred Romeros to man the light stations each nigh.  When a car or truck goes by, they can stick their hands in the sockets.  Much more creative than just some dumb lights.  When asked about the lights, City Hall thought they might be LEDs (from Cree).  When I suggested turning them down or off to save money, I was told that they have to be turned on to save money (http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true).

I have purchased some of those LEDs for the home.  They're very expensive, but the manufacturers claim that you save money over the life of the bulb.  I've had 3 LEDs burn out in less than a year.  That's saving money?  At least stop repeating the lie about LEDs lasting longer than regular lights.  It's not true.  Stop using your customer base to run lighting experiments. And stop producing insane $12 light bulbs that no light shade can connect to and telling us it's an anomaly when an LED burns out early.  Lies, lies, lies.  Lies ruin everything.  Especially government.

OK, this next video was forwarded to me and I present it as is, sans comment:


Why do we the people always have to give our politicians a kick in the ass to get them to do anything?

That's it, my dears.  I so enjoy bringing this blog to you and I'm extremely grateful for the readers that I have. Pretty soon Junior will be back in school and the household will become more peaceful.  I like it that way.  Quiet.

madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the weather while we have it.  You know who I always think of when I think of the outdoors?  SER.  I don't know why, but I do.  I still miss him dearly.  Please be careful, the rest of you.  I can't afford to lose anymore readers.  In fact, I better "draft" some.  People will suddenly come out of their spells of reading Dear Madame Zoltar.  I love you all.  I always have.
__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

"Wizard of Odds"

From the Shepherd Express:
 
2 hours ago
 
 
 I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen up ladies and lassies, I hear another Milwaukee Irish Fest has come upon us, which reminds me of a little story:
This, a wee tale of this Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman who were at the pub discussing families. The talk turned to children and surprised they are to learn they each have a 15-year-old daughter they struggle to understand. The Englishman’s problem is that he found cigarette butts under his daughter’s bed. “I didn’t know she smoked,” was his complaint. The Frenchman then says that he’d found cognac bottles under his daughter’s bed. “I was not aware that she drank,” he confessed. And the Irishman says his situation is the toughest—he’d found condoms under his daughter’s bed. “Ah lads, what kind of father am I that I did not know my daughter even had a dick?” Ba-ding!

Anyways, these days I’m liking my chances to be your next president more and more, what the fock. If elected, I abso-focking-lutely ought to represent a gentle return to some kind of normalcy, I kid you not.

 (Hold on, I got a phone call. It’s my buddy Little Jimmy Iodine. I got to take this ’cause he owes me some dough. Smoke ’em if you got ’em. Be right back.)

“Hey Artie, you got two bucks you can spot me?”

“You got to be jerking my beefaroni, Jimmy.”

“Yeah yeah, I know I owe you but listen, I’m short of dough and if you give me a couple bucks I can buy a Powerball ticket that’s guaranteed to win the $430 million jackpot. Then, we take that dough to Potawatomi and double it on the 25-cent slots—then we split it and I can pay you back that fiver I owe you from before, plus you got enough dough to run for president, not to mention a nice down payment on that used Buick Park Avenue you’re always talking about, ain’a?”

“So Jimmy, how are you so sure you can win this Powerball? The odds are one in 292, 201, 338.”

“But I got the numbers, Artie. Got ’em but good ’cause I did some research. You ever heard of this writer, some kind of William S. Burroughs?”

“Yeah, wrote the book Naked Lunch, died at the age of 83 in 1997 to serve as a lesson to the young people that a drugged and vagabond kind of lifestyle of lurid dissipation more than often snuffs out even the best of us too soon. So?”

“He died in August, Artie—it’s August now—plus it’s the 20-year anniversary. I did some research ’cause I saw that book in a used bookstore the other day and I wondered how a lunch could be naked. Didn’t add up. Lunchers can be naked ’cause they’re people. But lunch is food and food doesn’t wear clothes, ain’a? And then it hit me: This year is also the 40-year anniversary of the unconfirmed death of Elvis Presley, August 16. And then I remembered that the Memphis minstrel’s middle name was Aaron, and that Aaron was also the surname of the first man to go past George Herman Ruth’s total of career baseball home runs. And I wondered, could there be another connection between the King of Rock & Roll and the Sultan of Swat besides that they were both known to dine like pigs? I rushed to my baseball encyclopedia and there it was: Babe Ruth passed away on an August 16, the same date as the man who starred in Viva Las Vegas.”

“Jimmy, I got to go.”

“Wait, Artie. Then I heard about some closet Nazis who are celebrating the 30-year anniversary of nutty Rudolf Hess who hung himself in Spandau prison at the age of 93 on August 17, 1987—Rudy Hess, Hitler’s deputy and Nazi solo peace negotiator who parachuted into Scotland in 1941 and said, ‘Hi, my name’s Rudy. Want to surrender?’”

“Powerball numbers, Jimmy?”

“For starters, think of the anniversaries I just mentioned, Artie—20, 30, 40—plus the name connections. Then chew on this: Bill Burroughs was born February 5, 1914; Babe Ruth, February 6, who then first stepped onto a major league team with the Boston Red Sox in 1914. Burroughs was once cleared of obscenity charges in Boston. Babe played right field. Rudy Hess flew in out of left field. Bill did drugs, shot and killed his wife in Mexico. Elvis did drugs, shot and wounded his career in Fun in Acapulco. OK, Middle East connection: Rudy was born in Egypt; Bill regurgitated Naked Lunch onto the page in Morocco; in the bible there’s a Book of Ruth; Elvis starred in Harum Scarum. Also, Rudy spent years and years in Spandau. Elvis spent years and years in Spandex…”

Numbers, Jimmy.”

“Piece of cake, Artie: 16-17-20-30-40. Powerball is 8, for August, eighth month of the year. See you on Easy Street, pally.”

All right listen, I got to run up to the Pick ’n Save, so I can’t finish the essay for you’s. Yeah, campaign financing is a bitch, but once I’m in the White House I’ll be set for life, so what the fock ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
 

"Wisconsin Assembly panel advances $3 billion in incentives for Foxconn"




"MADISON - Without any Democratic votes, Republicans on Monday advanced a $3 billion incentive package to encourage Foxconn Technology Group to build a display panel plant in southeastern Wisconsin that could employ thousands.

"The 8-5 vote in the Assembly Committee on Jobs and the Economy came as a new report concluded the ripple effect from the Taiwanese tech giant's investment would produce 4,000 to 10,000 fewer jobs than previously estimated."



This is a cartful of horseshit.  Once again, Wisconsin voters are about to be fucked because of their "leaders'" incompetence or criminal negligence.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Open Blog - Weekend


Yeah, it's easy to be loved when you bring two days off.

Four for Fridays!

The weeks seem to be going faster every week. What happened to all the rain we where suppose to get last night. Here are your questions.

1) Have you ever been cut off on the highway by a semi?

2) Have you ever pulled on the side of the highway because the rain was coming down to hard for you to see the road?

3) Have you ever been in an accident on the highway?

4) What was the worst thing that happened to you when you were on the highway?

Have a great weekend and enjoy the nice weather!

Open Blog - Friday


I hope the other days don't get jealous.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

"WiGWAG: Queen Elizabeth's drinking habits, a Kiss cow, and more"

From Wisconsin Gazette:

News with a twist  Updated


A royal toast, or four

At 91, does Queen Elizabeth have a secret tonic? Well, according to Travel + Leisure magazine, she actually enjoys a daily gin and Dubonnet with a slice of lemon and lots of ice before lunch, followed by a glass of wine and a dry gin martini at lunch and a glass of Champagne before bed. Here, here.

Plastic binge

A woman from a city in central China accumulated more than $3.71 million in personal debt and then attempted to avoid repayment and arrest by undergoing plastic surgery. Reuters reported police officers searching for a 59-year-old woman were astonished to find a woman who looked to be in her 30s. How did she pay for the disguise? She used a credit card, of course.

Better off fired

The week Anthony Scaramucci learned he was out as President Donald Trump’s communication director, he also learned he was dead — at least according to the Harvard Law School’s alumni directory. The directory mailed to alumni in late July showed an asterisk next to Scaramucci’s name, indicating the 53-year-old Ivy Leaguer had died. The school issued an apology and said the error would be corrected in subsequent editions, which are published every five years.

Give a little, take a lot

Donald Trump, as a candidate, promised not to take a salary for serving as president. Since the law says he must be paid, the president is donating his salary. His first-quarter “earnings” went to the Interior Department. And the second-quarter paycheck went to the Education Department, which is due for a 13 percent cut in Trump’s proposed budget. WigWAG wonders: Are donations to government agencies tax-deductible? We’ll probably never know what Trump’s tax returns show.

Gut-busters

The Center for Science in the Public Interest issued its annual “Xtreme Eating” awards, recognizing “nutritional nightmares” served in U.S. restaurants. The Cheesecake Factory made the list twice. Its Pasta Napoletana — sausage, pepperoni, meatballs and bacon on pasta that’s been greased with butter and cream — delivers 2,310 calories and 79 grams of saturated fat. And then there’s the boozy Flying Gorilla shake — five scoops of chocolate ice cream drenched in 20 ounces of Budweiser beer.

Not a new deal

Democratic Party leaders this summer rolled out a new agenda with a populist pitch aimed at winning back voters lost to Donald Trump in the 2016 election — still a baffling thought. Promoting “A Better Deal: Better Jobs, Better Wages, Better Future,” the leadership promised “a better deal for American workers.” The rebranding effort prompted a small protest, at which activists hoisted pizza boxes with photos of Nancy Pelosi and the words “Better skills, Better jobs, Better wages, Still Pelosi.” Some have mocked the Dems’ slogan as similar to “Better Ingredients, Better Pizza,” the slogan for Papa John’s pizza.

Hypocritical much?

During a debate with Chelsea Handler over Obamacare, right-wing firebrand and Trump supporter Tomi Lahren admitted she takes advantage of the health care law’s benefits — despite opposing it. At age 24, Lahren remains on her parents’ health insurance policy, thanks to a provision in the law that allows such coverage up to age 26. The debate occurred at Politicon, a non-partisan event.

Un-presidential personified

Before he exited his clown car and entered the presidential circus, Donald Trump was close to signing on to play the president in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! But then, he decided not to because — wait for it — he was afraid the appearance would make him look un-presidential. Producer David Latt asked Mark Cuban to take the role instead, triggering a swift threat from a Trump lawyer: “He basically said, ‘How dare you? Donald wanted to do this. We’re going to sue you! We’re going to shut the entire show down!’” Latt told The Hollywood Reporter. It doesn’t get much more presidential than that, does it?

Not a foam party

Flight attendants really hate it when you order Diet Coke. It takes forever to pour, because the lack of sugar creates way more foam than regular sodas. Pouring it over ice makes matters worse. “I’ve actually had nightmares about frantically trying to finish a never-ending Diet Coke beverage service before landing,” American Airlines flight attendant Heather Poole told the Huffington Post.

Cute enough to KISS?

KISS frontman Gene Simmons tweeted “This is real, folks!!!” after seeing an image of a newborn calf with black-and-white facial markings similar to Simmons’ onstage persona. Genie the calf was born on a ranch near Kerrville, Texas, northwest of San Antonio. The ranchers say Genie is a family favorite and won’t be sold for slaughter.

From http://www.wisconsingazette.com/blogs/wigwag-queen-elizabeth-s-drinking-habits-a-kiss-cow-and/article_7c505e0a-7dd2-11e7-858d-e31eed36fd39.html

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello my honey dews and don't.  Such beautiful weather!  Get out ,play some game, fall down and cut yourself, end up in the ER getting stitches.  Then you can sue somebody.  It's the great American game.  While I've been the target of lawsuits often enough, I don't think I've ever brought suit against somebody. This whole stinkin' city is full of opportunities to sue.  With an even halfway decent case, the city will fold.  One of my favorites is the "your bus ran over my foot' litigation.  It helps if you have a corrupt foot doctor on your side, but it's not necessary.  In fact, a doctor can cut into your settlement quite a bit.  Limp into City Hall some morning and yell out, "Your bus ran over my foot.  When I yelled for him to stop, he didn't"  Then threaten to sue and see what happens.  If nothing else, you should get something for pain and suffering.  This city just loves to give away money.

If you're really into it, claim some sort of back or nerve damage.  Those are very hard to disprove or prove so it may take awhile, but you could end up with a healthy chunk of change.  We've been giving millions to lying ohn's contacts.  How about we keep some of that green at home?   Speaking of which, my candidate, Sandy Weidner has a campaign headquarters:


She's also released a statment on her run:



Sandy is my candidate, so you'll find a preponderance of evidence to support her here. The above snippets come from Racine Community Media: http://racinecommunitymedia.tumblr.com/

Maybe, just maybe, with the head of the snake removed, our Common Council can return to normal.  If not, we'll just have to chase the rest of the cons out.  I believe that lying John will attempt to run Racine "long distance."  His crew is in place.  They'll push his agenda.  Maybe lying John can attempt a takeover of the US Government.  He should be able to pull that off in a week or so.

Speaking of the US Government, I believe that it's our duty to squash the bug currently running North Korea.  All he does is talk war with us.  Well, bring it.  You must have at least a dozen nuclear weapons.  We only have a few thousand.  Pig.

Well, like I said, today is turning out to be a great day.  Plenty of sun and temps not too high.  Thanks for reading the time to read my blog today.  I appreciate all of my readers and encourage them to send more my way.

madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Thank you, again, for recommending our site.  We're nothing if not crazy.

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

 

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

"Stick Wad"

From the Shepherd Express: 

By Art Kumbalek  4 hours ago


I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I got the good news and I got the bad news—what’s the “good” and what’s the “bad” is up to you’s, but here it is: On one hand, I’m back from a summertime Up North odyssey 30 miles straight out of Hayward; on the other hand, I’ve returned queasily under-the-weather to the degree that there’s not much on my platter that I can shovel your way in the form of an essay, what the fock.

But hey, thanks for taking care of the city—such as it is—while I was away. And yeah, the trip was OK, thanks for asking, until focking Ernie somehow managed to drop the car keys out of the goddamn boat for christ sakes. You know, when you go Up North you always hear about the deer ticks and the wood ticks and I say big focking deal, ’cause I tell you that the ones that really get under your skin are the luna-focking-tics you’re vacationing with, I kid you not.

Yeah yeah, we were way up northwest around your Sawyer/Bayfield counties, a quaintly developed area of the state where I swear Woodrow Wilson is still president. But it’s one heck of a scenic locale, and although job opportunities seem slim, there appears to be plenty of eating opportunities given the load of girth the huge majority of residents have swaddled themselves with. Cripes, my buddy and political campaign-fund solicitor Herbie goes about 225 lbs. but Haywardians always threw in a couple extra bucks out of sympathy when he panhandled them for the cause ’cause they thought he was sick-thin from chemo treatments or something.

We held our brainstormin’ retreat that could change the future of this country at my buddy Ernie’s brother-in-law’s state-of-the-art summer home. Yes sir, state of the art provided you were a contemporary of Jean Nico-focking-let. And spacious? You bet. How would the equivalent size of three modern-apartment bedroom closets, with equivalent toilet facilities to boot, sound to you? Well, whatever it is you hear Up North, it sure wouldn’t be the sound of a flush toilet if you’d have stayed where we did.

And I’m also tight on time on account of having to meet the fellas up over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school, so’s we can make our plans for going to see the new Apes Planet movie. But I got to tell you, even if this movie is Oscar-worthy, it won’t seem like a genuine Apes movie to me without Chuck Heston in it. Talk about a guy with a style. I don’t want to say the guy brought a curious quality of woodenness to his characters, but whereas most of your actors put on some makeup before doing a scene, Chuck would slap on a fresh coat of varnish and be ready for action, what the fock.

You know, in this new batch of Apes movies, the monkeys are as smart or smarter than the humans—like they’re super aliens from outer space somewheres. Which reminds me, I read an article the other day about this institute out in California to search for extraterrestrial intelligence. And I’ll tell you’s that anytime I hear of some outfit out of Californica that goes by the name of an institute or academy, my nut radar starts to hyperventilate. Contacting aliens? A terrible idea. What if we get mixed up with a bunch of conquistadors from who-knows-where? Hey, go ask the Aztecs how that panned out for them—if you can find any.

And speaking of species of lesser intelligence, our President Orange Circus Peanut apparently entertains a novel notion regarding personal fitness. The following is from a Trump biography by a couple of Washington Post writers, by way of Kali Holloway from Alternet:

“After college, after Trump mostly gave up his personal athletic interests, he came to view time spent playing sports as time wasted. Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted. So he didn’t work out. When he learned that John O’Donnell, one of his top casino executives, was training for an Ironman triathlon, he admonished him, ‘You are going to die young because of this.’”

Talk about compassion, ain’a? And this from a guy who was supposed to have a great fantastic plan for health care, a great beautiful plan—part of which, I imagine, that if you now couldn’t afford the astro-focking-nomical health insurance plan, insurance companies would be mandated to rent you a shovel so’s you could choose to dig your own focking grave, what the fock.

Cripes, I got to go relax. Anyways, it’s nice to be back where a guy like me can see concrete again wherever he looks, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Friday, August 4, 2017

"The Foxconn Con"

From the Shepherd Express:

By Joel McNally  Aug. 1, 2017

Photo credit: Prachatai (Flickr CC)  

Editor's Note: The following are Joel McNally’s opinions. We agree with his observations and his cautions. The Shepherd’s position is that, since Wisconsin has had a dismal job creation record over the past several years, we embrace the idea of taking a risk with Foxconn. We hope that Foxconn delivers close to the number of jobs it is estimating, and we believe that the Walker administration could improve its deal by requiring Foxconn to abide by DNR regulations and, rather than making the annual $200 million tax credit a refundable tax credit, it should be a non-refundable tax credit that can be carried forward.

"Why do you think it’s called Foxconn? Politics aside, everyone who cares about Wisconsin really wants to believe all those gushing promises about the staggering number of high-paying jobs about to be created by a gargantuan high-tech facility—three times as large as the Pentagon—guaranteed to transform Racine and Kenosha into a modern-day version of Walt Disney’s Tomorrowland. But it sure would be a lot easier to believe if the breathless announcement hadn’t been made jointly by President Donald Trump, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker and Terry Gou, chairman of the Taiwanese electronics company Foxconn, all three notorious public liars.

"Many people are familiar with the dubious veracity of Trump and Walker. The Washington Post’s running tally of Trump’s documented lies and misrepresentations averages nearly five a day. Walker once attempted to remove 'the search for truth' from the mission of the University of Wisconsin and then lied about trying to do it. But most Wisconsinites are just starting to learn about Gou’s stream of broken promises around the world to spend billions of dollars to create tens of thousands of jobs—$10 billion in Brazil, $5 billion in India, $5 billion in Vietnam, $1 billion in Indonesia, $30 million in Pennsylvania—that came to little or nothing. He sounds like Trump and Walker’s brother from another mother.

"An early warning sign the Wisconsin announcement might produce far less than the mind-boggling claims was the mysteriously shrinking number of promised jobs. In January, around the time of Trump’s inauguration, Gou announced he might invest at least $7 billion in the U.S. to create 30-50,000 jobs producing flat LCD screens for TVs and computers. By the time Walker made the announcement, Gou’s investment was claimed to be $10 billion producing only 13,000 jobs. Even that number appeared to be inflated by Walker. Foxconn said it would only be hiring 3,000 workers over four years, and eventually that number might potentially grow “up to 13,000.” Someday. Maybe. Or maybe not.

"Walker has a history of promising unbelievable jobs numbers that never happen. Walker’s motive for fabricating Foxconn numbers is obvious. A 'transformational,' 'once-in-a-century' jobs coup is the perfect start to the re-election campaign of a governor whose greatest political liability is his failed jobs record.

"But, while many of those jobs could be imaginary, the historic $3 billion (that’s billion with a 'b') state tax giveaway Walker wants his eager Republican legislature to hand to Foxconn is real, hard cash. If Foxconn makes its promised investment, Wisconsin would literally write checks for more than $200 million a year for the next 15 years to Gou’s multi-billion-dollar company.

‘A Guaranteed Loser for the State’

"Good Jobs First, a nonpartisan Washington, D.C. research group that tracks government subsidies to private companies, ranked it as the fourth-largest tax incentive deal in U.S. history and unlikely ever to produce enough revenue to justify the enormous cost. 'We can only describe this as a gift from Wisconsin taxpayers to Foxconn shareholders,' Executive Director Greg LeRoy told The New York Times. 'This is a guaranteed loser for the state.'

"Walker swears state safeguards protect taxpayers. If Foxconn doesn’t create 13,000 jobs, he said, it won’t get all of its $3 billion windfall, and anybody who raises questions about the deal can go suck lemons. But when, exactly, over the next decade-and-a-half would Wisconsin decide Foxconn isn’t creating enough jobs and stop writing $200 million dollar checks? After Foxconn’s first billion in five years if it’s only created the 3,000 jobs it promised? After the second billion? And what kind of deal is paying a billion dollars to create 3,000 jobs, anyway? In 2010, with what would now be the second-largest Wisconsin subsidy, Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle saved 3,000 jobs at Mercury Marine in Fond du Lac for a mere $65 million (with an 'm').

"Politicians are always thrilled to attract high-tech 'jobs of the future.' But high-tech factories almost always mean far fewer jobs. Foxconn’s biggest investments are likely to be in robotics. Foxconn recently announced laying off 60,000 workers at its iPhone 6 factory in Kushan, China—more than 50% of the workforce—replacing them with robotic advanced technology, also produced by Foxconn. 

"One of the attractions of Wisconsin for Gou was the anti-union, anti-worker culture Walker has brought to the state. That’s disturbing given Foxconn’s reputation as a dangerous, high-stress work environment. Chinese workers complain of working seven days a week and standing for long hours on swelling legs. In 2010, there was a suicide cluster of 18 workers throwing themselves from Foxconn buildings, with 14 deaths. Foxconn installed safety nets to catch the falling bodies. Two years later, 150 workers threatened mass suicide from the roof of one factory before they were talked down.

"Do Walker’s state safeguards for Foxconn’s Magic Kingdom include suicide nets? Mass suicides can put a real crimp in a state’s workforce development".

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-30171-the-foxconn-con.html


I'll bet you they'll be gone, money in hand, before a spadeful of dirt is overturned.