Pensions
across the U.S. are falling deeper into a crisis, as the gap between
their assets and liabilities widens at the same time that investment
returns are falling, according to Bloomberg.
Chief Investment Officer Ben Meng told the board of the California Public Employees’ Retirement System last week: “For the next 10 years, our expected returns are 6.1%, not 7%.” And if you think you've seen panic now, just wait until he finds out that Calpers' target of 7% - lowered in 2016 - is still a pipe dream.
Put simply: the record, decade long bull market hasn't been enough to
save pensions. The average U.S. plan has only 72.5% of its future
obligations in 2018, compared to more than 100% in 2001. The Center for
Retirement Research at Boston College attributes the deficit to
"recessions, insufficient government contributions and generous benefit
guarantees."
Jean-Pierre Aubry, associate director said: “The really bad plans went heavily out of equities after the financial crisis.”
Pensions that aggressive bet on stock outperformed funds that moved
money into alternative investment vehicles, like hedge funds.
Andrew Junkin, president of Wilshire Consulting, said: “Sometimes diversification, while it’s the right strategy, makes you look dumb.”
And this success isn't a guarantee in the future, either.
Phillip Nelson, asset-allocation director at pension advisory firm
NEPC said: “The discussion we have internally is over the next ten years
is do you see an equal amount of Fed support and profit margins
increasing by another 50% from this level? Both seem really unlikely to
us.”
Public pensions have increased their exposure to PE to 10.2% on
average in 2018. This is up from 5.6% in 2008, a trend that will
probably continue. Many pension funds, like the Texas Teachers’
Retirement System, are hiring new staff to manage private equity. Their
fund invests 40% of its portfolio in alternatives.
Mohan Balachandran, senior managing director of asset allocation at
Texas Teachers said: “Our pension liability duration is 20-plus years.
We felt that we could invest for the long-term in some of these vehicles
where your money’s locked up for seven to 12 years.”
Now, about 85% of the 129 public pensions in the U.S. have cut return assumptions since 2014. These targets are expected to continue moving lower.
Keith Brainard, research director at the National Association of
State Retirement Administrators said: “Each month and each quarter that
goes by with low inflation and interest rates remaining low provides
more ammunition to justify lower investment returns.”
And lower assumptions aren't always well received by taxpayers,
despite lowering the risk for pension funds. Often, they lead to money
out of the pockets of taxpayers to cover the difference.
The Kentucky Retirement Systems’ plan for 123,000 employees in
non-emergency jobs could be one of the worst off systems in the U.S. It
currently only has $2 billion in assets for $15.6 billion in
liabilities. The burden has resulted in government service cuts, pay
freezes and a falling headcount.
Executive Director David Eager said: “We call it the death spiral. You can’t earn your way out of this.”
Assembly Speaker Robin Vos (Photo: Mark Hoffman / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
MADISON – Days after rejecting a medical
marijuana plan, Assembly Speaker Robin Vos said Friday he wants to
debate the issue this fall even though it would be extremely difficult
to pass.
Vos, of Rochester, in
recent years has shown support for legalizing medical marijuana, but
other Republicans who control the Legislature have expressed deep
skepticism toward the idea.
"I'd like to have at
least a discussion about medical marijuana," Vos said Friday when asked
about his top priorities for lawmakers when they return to the Capitol
in the fall.
Hanging women thought to be witches in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692 and 1693 was probably the pinnacle of religious Puritanism.
That type of Puritanism used God and the Bible to force its own form of tyranny on anyone who challenged its authority.
But Puritanism doesn’t need to be based on God or the Bible. All it
needs is fanatics convinced that their worldview is the only moral way
and that others must be forced to adhere to it.
Puritans ignore logic and reason and stick to their dogma. That often leads to some form of a witch-hunt and “public hanging.”
Here are five signs that you’re not really a tolerant free thinking
warrior for social justice, but actually a Puritan psychopath. 1. Sex is to be strictly regulated
This one is actually pretty similar to the religious Puritans.
They hated sex (outside of marriage) and regulated it strictly.
Sodomy, masturbation, and pre-marital sex were strictly verboten.
Today’s Puritans have banned any talk of sex for fear that it will be
classified as an unwanted sexual advance. People are terrified of sex
because pursuing it in the wrong way could land them at the gallows .http://www.thedailybell.com/all-articles/news-analysis/texas-wants-to-make-sex-jokes-illegal/
Some sex-Puritans even maintain that it is impossible for a woman to consent to sexwith a man. Others say that just being asked out against their will is a form of sexual assault. 2. You can’t remember the last time you were wrong about anything.
You know all the data… even though you really haven’t read a book in a while.
And you’ve considered every side… even though you only get your news from echo-chamber websites.
You’re totally open-minded… except to opinions you regard as “hate
speech”… which is basically any opinion that differs from yours.
But you’ve got the whole world figured out down to a T. And you are
sure your worldview is the only good and righteous way to see things.
If people don’t see things your way, that itself is proof of their bigotry, prejudice, sexism, and intolerance.
And you won’t tolerate that. 3. You think some ideas are too dangerous to be discussed.
Some views must be silenced because they are too dangerous to be tested in the marketplace of ideas.
This really means you see other people as inferiors, lacking an
internal moral compass, or too weak to resist the gravitational pull of
dangerous ideologies.
You think it is perfectly reasonable to ban people from saying certain things that might offend someone, or plant a dangerous idea in the mind.
Of course, nothing you ever say could be reasonably seen as offensive…
Anyone who says otherwise is being dishonest. You know this to be the case because… 4. Evidence is not required– you already know.
It’s like you have a sixth sense that can always tell you when
someone is guilty of a transgression. Their evilness manifests itself in
their appearance.
In Salem, proof that women were witches could include warts. Today,
proof that someone is a rapist might include muscles. Proof that someone
is a Nazi might require only a smirk.
Your paranoia leads you like the inquisition to see hidden signs of white supremacists and micro-aggressions everywhere.
And like a righteous and holy judge sent from the heavens, you will condemn the transgressors for their sins. 5. You reject the scientific method when it doesn’t support your dogma.
Sometimes you use phrases like, “the science is settled,” to cut off any discussion or debate.
That is a direct contradiction to the scientific method, in which
nothing is ever settled. Debate leads to clearer and clearer truths.
The Salem Puritans knew it was the devil causing the
stricken girls’ illnesses–that was not up for debate. And after all, the
Puritans were the educated ones, they even started Harvard.
But other times, science itself is offensive, such as saying someone
with an XY chromosome is a biological male. And that’s not up for debate
either (See 2-4). So if you think of yourself as progressive, just make sure you’re not actually regressing to a state of Puritan tyranny.
You don’t have to play by the rules of the corrupt politicians, manipulative media, and brainwashed peers.
When you subscribe to The Daily Bell, you also get a free guide: How to Craft a Two Year Plan to Reclaim 3 Specific Freedoms.
This guide will show you exactly how to plan your next two years to
build the free life of your dreams. It’s not as hard as you think…
Identify. Plan. Execute.
The widow of a truck driver who plunged
off an I-94 overpass to avoid hitting cars involved in a fiery collision
in Racine County has sued the company that employed a second big
rig driver the suit says caused the crash
.
The bizarre daytime crash on June 19 near Highway K in Mount Pleasant resulted in giant fireballs and the closure of the freeway in both directions for hours.
Authorities
called Jeffrey Johnson a hero for his evasive action to avoid striking
other cars. Now his widow and administrator of his estate, Lillian Moss
Johnson of Milwaukee, is seeking unspecified compensatory and punitive
damages for his death.
Jeffrey Johnson died in this fiery crash June 19, when he veered off an
I-94 overpass to avoid hitting cars that had crashed when a piece of
concrete median was suddenly pushed into northbound lanes by a
southbound truck. (Photo: Katelynn Planka)
Dalquavis T. Ward (Photo: Kenosha County Sheriff's Department)
The man accused of killing Racine Police
Officer John Hetland was released from federal prison just four days
before the veteran officer was shot during a robbery.
Hetland was shot June 17 during a robbery at Teezers Bar and Grill, 1936 Lathrop Ave.
Dalquavis T. Ward, 26, of Milwaukee, had just gotten out of prison on June 13, federal Bureau of Prisons records show.
Ward
appeared before U.S. Magistrate Judge William Duffin Friday afternoon
where he was ordered detained for an alleged violation of his probation,
according to minutes filed in his federal court file.
Ward is set to
appear before U.S. District Judge Pamela Pepper July 25 for a revocation
hearing.
He was on supervised release — standard
when someone is released from federal prison — according to court
records. Officials from U.S. Probation and Parole Office did not
immediately return a call from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel for
comment Friday afternoon.
The
Trump administration has been making changes both small and drastic to
U.S. immigration policies. While Trump’s cruel policies at the border
and his ramping up of deportations and ICE raids have garnered the most
attention and outrage, his other efforts to transform legal immigration
have been no less radical. As administration officials and conservative commentators
have said, deportations alone may not halt the demographic changes
taking place in the country -- so the administration is aggressively
reshaping the legal immigration system.
Taken together, these policies support a white nationalist agenda. By
keeping more people out, deporting people who are here, and creating an
atmosphere of nativism and fear that affects everybody, Trump is
attempting to dramatically reduce immigration to the United States,
particularly of people of color.
Most people don’t support the Trump agenda – the majority of the public thinks that immigration is a good thing and shouldn’t be decreased.
That’s why it’s important to understand and oppose the changes
underway. Here is a running list of changes and planned changes to the
legal immigration system.
The bullshit that the left writes and posts. They don't see immigration as an orderly process. They believe it is racist to oppose the flood of illegals into our country. Fuck them. They are ignorant or, more likely, stupid. Either way, I don't care. I've lived my life and owe them nothing but my disdain. Watch Foxconn hire a legion of illegals. Then maybe the local left will wake up. Or not - they despise the truth.
Good point. Cleaning toilets is a skill that could be trained into
them. When they go back, it will be a useless skill, because
installing and maintaining toilets is a skill that they are not
capable of mastering.
In Sub-Saharan Africa, missionaries dig wells for the locals, and come
back to find the wells fouled, unused, destroyed. Wells are too
high-tech for the Sub-Saharans: if given a hole in the ground with
water at the bottom, they are unable to maintain it.
The Dalai Lama is not only a big hitter, he speaks more truth than all the politicians and corrupt churchmen of Europe combined:
The Dalai Lama has claimed 'Europe is for Europeans' and that the
continent could become 'Muslim or African' if migrants are not sent back
to their home countries. The Buddhist spiritual leader, who has been
living as a refugee in India since fleeing Tibet in 1959, said only a
'limited number' of migrants should be allowed to remain.
During an interview with the BBC, the Dalai Lama added that refugees who
have fled to Europe should be given skills before being returned. He
said Europe was under an obligation to take in those who needed help,
but ultimately they should be returned to their homelands. The
83-year-old said: 'European countries should take these refugees and
give them education and training, and the aim is return to their own
land with certain skills.'
When asked what should happen to those who want to stay in their adopted
countries, he replied: 'A limited number is OK, but the whole of Europe
[will] eventually become Muslim country, African country - impossible.'
He's almost entirely correct. Because the only alternative is the
continent-wide war between the European nations and the migrants,
refugees, and quislings that appears to have already begun in Norway and
in Germany.
The only point at which I disagree with His Holiness is the idea that
Europe has any obligation to take in anyone for any reason. Neither the
continent nor the people who live on it are obligated to do so under any
moral standard.
The Dalai Lama has warned that 'the whole of Europe will eventually become a
Muslim, African country" unless refugees that have been taken in are
not returned to their home countries.
Speaking with the BBC's Rajini
Vaidyanathan from his home in the mountainous town of McLeod-Ganj in
Northern India, the 83-year-old spiritual leader said that while Europe
was under an obligation to take in those who need help, they must
ultimately be returned to their homelands.
"European countries should take these refugees and give them education and training, and the aim is return to their own land with certain skills,"
said the Dalai Lama, adding "A limited number is OK, but the whole of
Europe [will] eventually become Muslim country, African country -
impossible."
"Receive them [migrants], help them, educate them, but ultimately they should develop their own country. I think Europe belongs to the Europeans."
We wonder if virtue-signaling liberals will peel off their "Free
Tibet" bumper stickers now that their idol is one pair of Khakis and a
tiki-torch away from Europe's identitarian movement?
The Dalai Lama sought refuge in India, where he has been living in exile with 10,000 Tibetans.
His monastery - which overlooks the snow-capped peaks of the
Dhauladhar range in the Himalayas - is breathtakingly beautiful. But the
view is bittersweet.
His life's cause - to return home - remains a distant dream, even if
he insists it may yet happen. "The Tibetan people have trust in me, they
ask me [to] come to Tibet," he says.
But in the next breath he adds that India has also become his
"spiritual home". An implicit acceptance, perhaps, that his goal of an
autonomous Tibet is far from reality. -BBC
When asked about President Trump, the Buddhist monk said that he
"lacked moral principle" and that the administration's America first
policy is "wrong."
The bodies of Óscar Alberto MartÃnez RamÃrez and his 23-month-old daughter, Valeria, were found in the Rio Grande on Monday.CreditCreditJulia Le Duc/Associated Press
MEXICO
CITY — The father and daughter lie face down in the muddy water along
the banks of the Rio Grande, her tiny head tucked inside his T-shirt, an
arm draped over his neck.
The
portrait of desperation was captured on Monday by the journalist Julia
Le Duc, in the hours after Óscar Alberto MartÃnez RamÃrez died with his
23-month-old daughter, Valeria, as they tried to cross from Mexico to
the United States.
The image
represents a poignant distillation of the perilous journey migrants face
on their passage north to the United States, and the tragic
consequences that often go unseen in the loud and caustic debate over
border policy.
It recalled other
powerful and sometimes disturbing photos that have galvanized public
attention to the horrors of war and the acute suffering of individual
refugees and migrants — personal stories that are often obscured by
larger events.
Like
the iconic photo of a bleeding Syrian child pulled from the rubble in
Aleppo after an airstrike or the 1993 shot of a starving toddler and a
nearby vulture in Sudan, the image of a single father and his young
child washed up on the Rio Grande’s shore had the potential to prick the
public conscience.
As the photo
ricocheted around social media on Tuesday, Democrats in the House were
moving toward approval of an emergency $4.5 billion humanitarian aid
bill to address the plight of migrants at the border.
Good morning everyone I hope you had a good week. Yes I am up early today because I have lots of errands to do and I have to take Drew to work. Here are your questions.
1) Do you have plans for the 4th of July?
2) Are you going to see any parades?
3) Are you going to spend the 4th of July with family or friends?
4) Are you planning on cooking you for the 4th of July?
RACINE — The suspect who law
enforcement officials say shot and killed Racine Police Officer John
Hetland last week was arrested Thursday.
The alleged perpetrator was captured in Milwaukee and was taken to jail
wearing Hetland's handcuffs. The identity of the suspect was not
released during a press conference Thursday evening at the Racine Police
Department, 730 Center St.
Hetland, a 24-year Racine Police
Department veteran, was shot and killed the night of June 17 at Teezers
Bar & Grill, 1936 Lathrop Ave., while trying to stop an armed
robbery.
“We are pleased to
announce we have caught that killer," said Racine County Sheriff
Christopher Schmaling, during the press conference. "This coward is in
our custody."
Alongside
Schmaling at the joint press conference were Kenosha County Sheriff
David Beth and City of Racine Police Chief Art Howell. The officials
spoke from a podium next to the quad memorializing Hetland, covered in
notes and flowers.
"Hopefully the family tonight will find some comfort,” Schmaling said. “We have worked night and day to see closure."
Getting a Head in Life
Laurence Pilgeram, who died in 2015 in California, paid Alcor Life
Extension Foundation $120,000 to preserve his body indefinitely at
-320.8 Fahrenheit (-196 Celsius) in the hope of being brought back to
life in the future. But a month after his death, his son, Kurt Pilgeram
of Dutton, Mt., received a box containing his father’s ashes: the
company had sent him all but his father’s head, which was still being
stored in liquid nitrogen at Alcor’s facility in Arizona. “They chopped
his head off, burned his body, put it in a box and sent it to my house,”
Kurt told the Great Falls Tribune. He is suing Alcor for $1
million in damages and an apology—plus the return of his father’s frozen
head. “I want people to know what’s going on,” he said. For its part,
Alcor says its contract was with Laurence Pilgeram, and that it met that
agreement. The company contends Kurt is trying to get the life
insurance money that paid for Alcor’s services. The trial is expected to
begin in 2020 in California.
Clooney Clone Con Job
Francesco Galdelli, 58, and Vanya Goffi, 45—a.k.a. the Italian Bonnie
and Clyde—were arrested on Saturday, June 15, at a luxury villa in
Pattaya, Thailand, after years of avoiding Italian authorities for
various scams and frauds. The Telegraph reported that Galdelli
had confessed to posing as George Clooney and opening an online clothing
business “to trick people into sending him money.” The two would also
sell fake Rolex watches online, sometimes sending packets of salt to
their customers instead of the expensive jewelry. Clooney testified
against the couple in 2010, but they fled Italy before being arrested
there. Galdelli was arrested in Thailand in 2014 but escaped after
bribing prison guards. The pair will be returned to Italy for trial.
Unctuous Onc
German Instagram “influencers” Catalin Onc and Elena Engelhardt have
faced a digital dressing-down after they set up a GoFundMe page
requesting donations for a bike trip to Africa. They want to raise about
10,000 euros for the jaunt, but some people aren’t on board. Onc and
Engelhardt live with Onc’s mother, who supports them by working at two
jobs, the Independent reported. They posted on their Instagram
page: “Some will just tell us to get jobs, like everyone else does, and
stop begging. But when you have the impact we do on others’ life (sic),
getting a job is not an option. A normal job at this point would be
detrimental.” Commenters let loose on the couple: “Get a job and treat
your mum; she shouldn’t be funding her grown son to wander the world
like a lost boy.” And: “You’re not impacting anyone’s life; you are just
a couple of freeloaders.”
Desperate Times Call for Useless Measures
In the Colombian city of Buenaventura, violence and corruption are on
the rise, and after a shocking Saturday, June 1, murder of a young
girl, the local bishop devised a plan to “purge the city of evil.”
Monsignor Ruben Dario Jaramillo Montoya intends to perform a mass
exorcism, and to help him, he has asked the Colombian Navy to fly a
helicopter over the city and spray “holy water” on those below. The
ritual is scheduled for mid-July during annual patron saints
festivities. “We want to drive out these demons that are destroying the
port,” the bishop told Caracol Radio.
Think You Hate Your Job?
Last year, Eli Aldinger, 23, told police officers in Bothell, Wash.,
he intentionally drove his Toyota Camry into two different groups of
pedestrians in order to “get out of going to work.” Aldinger, who worked
in food service at McMenamins Anderson School, first hit a woman who
was crossing the street with her husband, admitting to police that he
sped up to 35-40 mph so he could “hit her before she made it across the
road,” reported the Bothell-Kenmore Reporter. Later, he swerved
to hit another pedestrian but declined to strike a third, thinking that
would be “a bit too excessive.” On Friday, May 31, Aldinger was
sentenced to 14 years in prison for assault.
Foxconn Technology Group may be pushing
back the expected completion date of the display panel factory it has
begun building in Mount Pleasant.
In March, the Taiwan-based electronics manufacturer announced it would start building the plant by summer, and that the factory would begin production in the fourth quarter of 2020.
Construction
did begin by summer, but on Thursday, an update on bid opportunities at
the project mentioned that the factory building is “set for completion
in early 2021.”
The update did not say when
production at the factory is expected to begin. A Foxconn spokeswoman
did not immediately respond to questions about the construction and
production schedule.
Travis Stackhouse (Photo: Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office)
A Milwaukee father punched and killed his 5-year-old son because the boy ate a piece of his cheesecake, prosecutors say.
Travis
Stackhouse, 29, told police he punched his son in the stomach Friday
because he was upset three of his children were eating the cheesecake
he’d gotten for Father’s Day, according to a criminal complaint.
Stackhouse told police he only had one piece.
Prosecutors
on Wednesday charged Stackhouse with first-degree reckless homicide in
the death of his son. He is held on $25,000 bond, according to the
Milwaukee County Jail website. He faces up to 60 years in prison, if
convicted.
Paramedics arrived about 2 a.m. Saturday
at the home in the 2600 block of West Ruby Avenue and pronounced the
boy dead after CPR did not revive him. The Milwaukee County Medical
Examiner’s Office determined he suffered a ruptured stomach, bruised
kidneys and a torn adrenal gland. He died from blunt force trauma to the
abdomen.
MOUNT PLEASANT — Haunted house
enthusiasts can now enjoy a beer at the Abandoned Haunted House before
or after they make it through the spooky experience.
Contingent
on the fire alarm system being approved by South Shore Fire Department,
the Abandoned Haunted House Complex, 2825 Southeast Frontage Road, will
be serving beer for the first time during this upcoming season.
The
Class B liquor license, which only covers beer, was approved by the
Mount Pleasant Village Board on Monday on a 4-2 vote with trustees Bud
Eastman and Jon Hewitt voting “no.”
Trustee Gary Feest said “the potential for disaster is there.”
“But
in all honesty, he’s open for 15 days, he’s got a cop on the premises,”
Feest said. “As much as I’m not a big fan of alcoholism, drinking and
everything else, I can’t deny this license just because of the potential
that the haunted house might chaotically create a problem.”
The Racine County Sheriff's Office
responded to 17th Street, between Racine and Mead streets, after what
Sheriff Christopher Schmaling said was a drive-by shooting early
Wednesday afternoon. No one was injured, he said. RICARDO TORRES
ricardo.torres@journaltimes.com
RACINE — Authorities responded to a report of gunshots on the south side Wednesday afternoon.
Shots
were fired near 17th Street between Racine and Mead streets at
approximately 1:15 p.m.
Racine County Sheriff Christopher Schmaling
later said it was a drive-by shooting but that no one was injured. The
suspect fled in a vehicle.
At the scene, deputies interviewed nearby witnesses and said they were
searching for a white sedan that may have been involved in the incident.
The Sheriff’s Office is investigating, Schmaling said.
Don Nelson was 540-344 from 1977-87. (Photo: Lynn Howell, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
On
Monday, Milwaukee Bucks coach Mike Budenholzer was named NBA Coach of
the Year for 2019. On Tuesday night, the last man to win that award for
the Bucks, Don Nelson, will be profiled on HBO's "Real Sports with
Bryant Gumbel," profiling his life of retirement farming marijuana in
Hawaii.
Nelson, who was named coach
of the year with the Bucks in 1983 and 1985, helped build the Bucks into
one of the powers of the Eastern Conference in the early 1980s and has
been hailed by such greats as Pat Riley as one of the greatest
innovators the game has ever seen. Nelson, who also put the building
blocks in place that turned the Golden State Warriors into today's NBA
superpower, has been out of coaching for nine years and has found a
chill next chapter living in Maui.
Vehicles race through the red light at West Capitol Drive and North
60th Street on June 20, two days after Milwaukee Police Officer Kou Her
was killed at this intersection on his way home by a driver accused of
blowing through the traffic signal. (Photo: Jim Stingl / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
Police have a message for reckless
drivers speeding through red lights, passing illegally in bike lanes and
cruising Milwaukee's streets with no license plates:
You will be stopped and forced to deal with the consequences.
The
Milwaukee Police Department, Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Department and
Wisconsin State Patrol are teaming up for a second summer to combat
reckless driving in the city.
Their saturation patrols are expected to last through the end of the summer.
“Our
community knows that it's necessary and it's needed because the
recklessness that is in our streets is unacceptable,” said Milwaukee
County Sheriff Earnell Lucas. Bad driving is the No. 1 topic Lucas hears
about.
For the past four weeks, the three law
enforcement agencies have been flooding notorious bad driving hot spots
on the city’s north and south sides.
Such concentrated efforts can deter impaired driving and promote safer behavior, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Some folks in southern Wisconsin find themselves facing a magnetic attraction to the region's hidden heavy metal scene.
They
have taken up what's known as magnet fishing, a hobby that — measured
in terms of social media — is all the rage in Europe but is just now
becoming a pastime in the American Midwest.
The
hobby consists of attaching a powerful magnet to a rope, then tossing
the magnet into a waterway. Once the magnet hits bottom, you drag it
until it locks onto something metal. Then you haul the item to the
surface.
Sometimes the result is treasure, most of the time it's junk, and sometimes what you haul to the surface is just plain weird.
"It’s
one of those hobbies where it’s kind of silly and it takes a lot of
time and it’s kind of stinky and the water’s gross and you have to wear
gloves and my wife’s always like, ‘Ugh, where are you going?' " said Jim Walters, a magnet fishing hobbyist from West Bend.
A Saturn hatchback was abandoned on
English Street between Wisconsin Avenue and Main Street with the engine
still running after a Racine County sheriff deputy attempted a traffic
stop late Monday afternoon. Deputies allegedly found 476 grams of
marijuana brownies, and ammunition inside the car that matched a handgun
that a suspect discarded. CHRISTINA LIEFFRING
christina.lieffring@journaltimes.com
RACINE — The driver accused of
abandoning a car with 476 grams of marijuana brownies inside it on
Monday had his initial appearance in court on Tuesday, which happened to
be his birthday.
Kemont M.
Regulus, of the 4100 block of Marquette Drive, Racine, spent his 19th
birthday in court, where he was charged with a felony count of
possession of over 200 grams of marijuana with intent to deliver, which
carries up to four years in prison. He was also charged with felony
counts of attempting to feel or elude an officer and possession of a
firearm by a felon and a misdemeanor count of possession of drug
paraphernalia.
RACINE — An unnamed city employee’s
resignation agreement, the terms of which have been undisclosed, has
been approved by the City Council and its Executive Committee.
On
June 18, the Executive Committee met in closed session, citing a
Wisconsin statute that permits a meeting to go into closed session to
discuss “employment, promotion, compensation or performance evaluation
data of any public employee over which the governmental body has
jurisdiction or exercises responsibility.”
When the committee reconvened in
open session, its members voted unanimously to forward the agreement to
the City Council with a recommendation to approve. Later that same
evening the council did so.
The Journal Times has submitted a records request for the resignation agreement.
I've been tending to Mr. OrbsCorbs, who recently underwent surgery to remove a blockage in an artery. I should return with my regular column next week.
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a
world, ain’a? So listen, since being rather new and somewhat clueless as
to the appropriate lifestyle of being an “old fart,” I found myself on a
pleasant Sunday afternoon wondering just what the fock to do. Shortly, I
had an “aha” moment. Golf! Yes sir, watch golf on TV. That’s what old farts do on a pleasant Sunday afternoon, what the fock.
So I fired up the Philco, and yes, there was golf on TV to watch. Oh,
boy. Exciting? Perhaps, but only if you’re the kind of a guy who can
get a boner from listening to paint dry.
One thing I’ll say about those golfers though. You don’t really ever
hear about them getting arrested for waving a gun around at 3 a.m. in
the parking lot of some hotsy-totsy discotheque, nor do you often read
in the papers where any of these well-compensated duffers get pulled
over for a routine traffic stop that culminates in the discovery of a
crack pipe under the front seat and a hundred pounds of pot in the
focking trunk, as you may read about those involved in the less gentile
sports.
But after about 15-focking-minutes, five words popped into my head:
“I am such an idiot.” Yes sir, the old-fart lifestyle is going to take
some time to get used. So off went the TV, had a smoke, mixed up a nice
cocktail and cracked open the latest issue of Bendover magazine, what the fock.
The big feature was a historically pictorial spread called “The Tarts
of the House of Hohenzollern.” I never knew the box camera had already
been discovered by the 1700s. Sometimes their research articles seem a
little shaky, like the time they said that scientists had discovered a
food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by more than 90%. So I’m
reading and reading, and it turns out the food is Wedding Cake, I kid
you not.
But in this issue, they had a Father’s Day article that said a bunch
of scientists whipped out some newfangled research on the male line of
this DNA stuff that led them to surmise, if not downright deduce, that
all beings of human actually have the same one-kind-of father from
’round about 250,000 years ago, give or take a couple, three
millenniums.
Imagine that. One dad, lots of kids. Me and you and Plato. Me and you
and Marie focking Antoinette. Me and you and Fyodor Dostoevsky. Malcolm
X. Pinky Lee. Peggy Lee. Lee Marvin. Marvin Gaye. Faye Throneberry. Fay
Wray. Martha Raye. Martha Mitchell. Billy Mitchell. Billy Martin.
Martin Heidegger. Dean Martin. Dean Wormer. Dizzy Dean. Daffy Dean.
Muammar al-Qaddafi. Al Jolson. Prince Albert. Princess Grace. Gracie
Allen. Allen Toussaint. Eva Marie-Saint. St. Guy of Pomposa. Guy de
Maupassant. Buddy Guy. Buddy Hackett. Cesar Chavez. Julius Caesar—all
right, you get the picture.
You and me and everybody, past, present and future, we’re all
honest-to-gosh related. One big family. And still people wonder why
there’s war all the time all over the world? Give me a focking break.
Like they say, you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose; but
you can’t pick your relatives, so it looks like we’re stuck but good.
Have a nice day.
The one thing that bugs me about Bendover is they’ve got too
many goddamn advertisements featuring some kind of semi-celebrity
douche bag or knobshine—none of whom is me. HEYYY! I’m
available anytime, anywhere to push your line of crap, so just call me.
It’s time these big corporation companies and marketers start coming up
with big dough to writers for endorsing their focking products. I dream
of the day BiC Pen comes to ink some several hundred dollar exclusive
endorsement deal contract with me. I even got the magazine ad already
played out in my mind. Picture the picture:
Caption: “Art Kumbalek, Newspaper Hack.” I’m sitting on a stool in
some swanky cocktail lounge with two showgirls on each knee. Art’s
saying, “Yeah gals, not only am I glad to see you but that is a
BiC in my pocket. It’s the only pen I’d use to sign the check for the
tab we’ve run up the last couple days. Fock, the check will bounce but
you two, and my BiC, are coming back with me to my place.”
Or how ‘bout Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (“Breakfast, lunch, dinner—I
live on the stuff, America!” Or baloney: “Not only do I write it—I eat
it, too. Get Real!”) And of course, any kind of liquor you got.
Which reminds me, Bendover also had a story with this
headline: “Study shows some health benefits from alcohol.” What the
fock, what say we go get healthy big-time, but you buy the first round
’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
(CNN)San
Francisco will become the first US city to effectively ban e-cigarette
sales, after the city's board of supervisors unanimously voted in favor
of an ordinance Tuesday.
The
ordinance says "no person shall sell or distribute an electronic
cigarette to a person in San Francisco" unless that product has
undergone premarket review by the US Food and Drug Administration. To
date, none have.
This
includes sales in brick-and-mortar stores, as well as online sales
shipped to a San Francisco address. The ordinance also applies to
flavored tobacco products in addition to e-cigarettes. The measure does
not ban the use of vapes among people 21 and older.
"This
is a decisive step to help prevent another generation of San Francisco
children from becoming addicted to nicotine," said City Attorney Dennis
Herrera in a statement, following the vote.
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